Pinterest A Grateful Life Lived: 10 Ways to be Awkward on an Airplane

Monday, August 4, 2014

10 Ways to be Awkward on an Airplane

     Inspired by my recent trip to St. John, as well as my other summer travels (RELATED: Off to Eugene), comes a sequel to the ever-popular "10 Ways to be Awkward in the Gym Locker Room."  We're taking it plane-side people: 10 Ways to be Awkward on an Airplane.
     I've contemplated, observed and creatively-brainstormed.  So, here's a list that will give you a chuckle in the least.  My hope is that some daring reader out in the blogosphere will get some guts and put my post to the test.  If your long flight needs a little excitement and you've read through Skymall Magazine three times already, give my list a run for its money.  The ideas are bound to keep jet lag at bay and keep the flight crew on their toes!

1. Do some final prep for your beachside vacation and use your tray table to paint your nails...and toenails.

2. Grin at your seat-mate.  No blinking.  No looking away.  Just stare right into those eyes until the dude/lady gets so creeped out that they request a seat change.  That means you've won! (Bonus points if you look like Nicholas Cage)

3. Put in your headphones and, GUYS: Softly sing some Celine Dion, GIRLS: keep them guessing with a few lines of Jay-Z followed by some Bob Marley.

4. Pull out a banana and either, A.) Begin mashing it with your knees or, B.) Peel it and promptly throw away the banana and eat only the peel.

5. Ask your seat mates to be your "accountabilibuddies" and help you avoid licking the elbows of other passengers during the flight, a deep inner struggle of yours.

6. Begin yipping like a dog when the jet engines fire up, slowly increase your pitch and volume as the plane zooms down the runway.  As the wheels lift up, cease barking and give one long moo.

7. Ask your seat mates if they would like to see pictures of your "little babies,"and proceed to flip through an extensive mini photo album of elm saplings and small ferns.  Here's the creative challenge: each tree must have an Italian name.

8.Inform fellow passengers that you are indeed a certified Zumba Mime.  Superman-jump into the aisle and begin leading an exercise class full of dancing and invisible ropes.

9. Ask a seat mate to switch seats because you are extremely uncomfortable wtih your seat's proximity to the (imaginary) planet, Tifgorn.  Wait two minutes and then ask to move back.  Tifgorn just migrated across the galaxy and you're uncomfortable again.

10. Begin reading a Dora the Explorer book, all the while pretending that you aren't.  Let out an exhilarating "Swiper no swiping!"  Then, glance around and lower your head in shame.


     So, who is willing to risk their reputation for the comedic relief of airplane passengers worldwide?  I know I'd crack up if someone did this on my next flight.  If you aren't brave enough to try any of these though, have you seen any crazy stuff on airplanes?  Comment below!  I'd love to hear your airline stories!

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