It started after our long run Sunday morning. I was walking back to get ready for church and said hi to a friend. "Don't get too close," she warned. "I'm getting over the stomach flu."
I grimaced and wished her well in her recovery as walked outside. Other than feeling really tired from my long run and my race on Saturday, I felt decent up until Sunday night when I got an awful stomach ache. I don't get them often, so I figured I could just sleep it off and it would be no big deal. Alas, I woke up around 2 a.m. and spent the rest of the night throwing up and sleeping on the dorm room floor so I was close to the trashcan. I made it down to the bathroom around 6:30 a.m., but felt like I was going to pass out if I didn't lay down. Thankfully, someone came in for a shower around 6:45 and helped me to walk back down to my room and wake up the RA.
From that point on, I didn't throw up anymore. But the EMTs came because I was so dizzy that I couldn't sit up. They gave me an IV to restore my fluids and loaded me onto the ambulance.
I used to hate shots. Then, I got my blood-work done and shots weren't so bad. I'm pretty sure I would take 50 shots over an IV in my arm. I'll spare you the details, but I will say that my sweatshirt is covered in blood on the right side because the IV came out...
At the hospital, they continued to give me fluids and potassium. I guess all my electrolytes were really low, but my potassium especially. I was released around noon and thankfully had a friend who was able to come pick me up-- me, in my bloody sweatshirt, pajamas and fuzzy socks :)
I felt a lot better yesterday afternoon, but was really really tired and had a headache. Today, after 10 hours of sleep and a 45 min. nap at 10, I still feel exhausted and sleepy. My head still hurts a little too. And I haven't eaten anything yet today because nothing sounds too appetizing.
Overall though, I'm just really frustrated. I feel so much better, but am now allowed to run today. I've been making so much progress that this setback is really really driving me crazy. I'm also upset because I feel better so I feel like I should be pushing myself and I should be doing my hard workout today like usual. While I'm not completely well, I'm not as sick as I was, so I feel guilty just sitting around and wasting time. I hate it!
Perhaps this is another lesson in patience. After all, I was telling a friend yesterday how I'm trying to remind myself that God is in control. I wish I had that clear of a focus today. Yet, I do know that there has not once been a time in my life when my plans were better than God's. After the fact, I can always look back and see how God has brought so much blessing out of what I deemed "bad." This is no different, right? It's just really hard to view it that way when I'm in the middle of it. It's especially hard since I was feeling on top of the world after a great workout Friday, my first race on Saturday that my dad and brother came to and a good long run on Sunday. Now I just feel like a lazy, weak sickling. But even as I write that, I'm reminded how God has been teaching me about my true identity. It doesn't change, not based on anything. If I run great one day and bad the next, that doesn't make me a "superb athlete" and then "not a real runner." If I get good grades, that doesn't make me "worthy" just like doing something wrong doesn't make me a "failure." I am always, 100 percent of the time: a child of God who is redeemed and made righteous. I am defined by Him and not by the ever changing circumstances of this world.
This has been quite a random stream of my thoughts, but that's what you get when I'm writing while recovering from the flu. However, I hope this has been encouraging for you as it has been for me. Remember, God IS in control and He defines not only the circumstances but He defines who you are. If you are going through something difficult, I advise you to write it down. Journal it or write about it in a blog. That way, when God does come through as sovereign and awesome, you will have the story to go along with it. Have a great Tuesday!