Guilty as charged

     Here I am watching the Super Bowl with the family. Or not.  I thought this was too funny not to share. I've been busted :)

The _____ (insert family name here) Olympics

     Growing up, nothing was more invigorating and enjoyable than the family Olympics.  I'm cornered on each end by two brothers, and since we often competed in these Olympics with my dad: I was the only girl.  My competitive edge kept me on par with the boys though, and made the activity all the more fun.  With exuberant energy and creativity, we decided on "playing" the Olympics.  Each one of us brainstormed two game ideas, for a total of eight games and an afternoon of fun.  The key was to picking the activity that suited you best, and we always ended up with some wacky ideas.  

     The first afternoon my dad came up with the idea, we were bored out of our minds and bouncing off the walls.  So, with our Olympic agenda set, we hiked to a nearby park and began the festivities.  My dad set up handicaps in certain events, making sure that the results were at least semi-fair.  We did obstacle courses, the basketball game knockout, a running race, the family favorite game: shark-tag, and even push ups.
     We were fueling creativity, competition, and family fun.  But we were also having a blast getting outside of the house and creating lasting memories.  I learned from the family Olympics that I am the best at the monkey bars, that my older brother is hands down the best at shark-tag, and that my dad has the most accurate shot in basketball.  Those are memories I wouldn't trade for anything.
     Now, we are a bit older.  The other night though, my younger brother suggested we revive the tradition and bring back the games.  Like a proud gold medalist, he drew up the score sheet and instructed us to think of our game ideas.  Some ideas for our Olympics-- such as Just Dance 3-- have grown up with us.  Others however-- best two-minute interpretive dance-- are still as childish as they were five years ago.  The point is, doing stuff as a family should be active and involved.  Watching movies together doesn't always cut it, and even though I'm about to head off to college myself, I've learned that you're never too old for the family Olympics.

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Satire: How to anger a cross country runner

     The starting point in such a task is a simple disregard for the sport and an identification.  Firstly, you must think back to the runner in your life.  You know…the one with a fetish for water and an insanely large collection of sweaty t-shirts. 

A map of a cross country course

     Your cross-country runner may  be tall and lanky or short and squat, but chances are: they already know they are a social outcast.  If this is true, than that means less work for you.  However, if this step is not completed, you may try shouting phrases at them in the hallways such as, “What is cross-country?”, “Oh…you didn’t make the soccer team?” or “Sorry, I forget your name, but I know you like run or something for fun.”   This is sure to get their attention and put them in their proper place.

     Your cross-country runner may get a bit cocky.  After all, it’s easy to become successful at something no one really does.  If this happens, the best thing to do is repeat step one.  After that, add a few comments about your cross-country runner’s wimpy arms and/or nasty feet.  If you’ve got a stubborn one on your hands, I would suggest announcing said factoids to the entire student body.  This is sure to wipe the smile of their face at the same rate of their decrease in popularity.

     In has come to my attention however, that cross-country is no longer looked down upon sufficiently.  Granted, it is highly ignored, but the inter-mingling of cross-country runners and members of society is a concern to be addressed.  If you should notice this, immediately call for backup and proceed to berate the cross-country runner by repeating both steps one and two (just to let you know: when in doubt, repeat steps one and two in just about any life situation.  For example: If your teacher is scolding your effort, turn to the nearest runner and let it rip). 

     In all your hard work, you must not forget the race itself.  In the trivial world of a cross-country runner, the highlight of the week is waking up at 6 am in order to run up hills in 40 degree weather.  Most likely, you won’t have to remind your cross-country runner of how stupid this is.  The cold has stunted their brain, so they wouldn’t understand your rambling in the first place.  However ridiculous it is though, the average cross-country runner will do this weekly ritual throughout the fall.

     If you gain nothing else from this guide, you must understand: the running community is highly toxic!  It is an alien gathering that gains its momentum from a gun followed by a stampede.  In an extreme case of runner ego, it may be necessary to venture out to one of these cult gatherings.  The necessary equipment for this perilous journey includes: a bullhorn, a can of silly string, a stop watch, and a whistle.

     Before you can utilize your equipment though, you must understand the essentials.  The most powerful weapon against the cross-country runner is your voice.  It is crucial to find an area on the course where you are largely alone.  When your cross-country runner heaves their way by: spring into action!  The most effective comments are “Keep going!  Only two more miles and three hills!” and “Keep going.”  Other widely recognized remarks are “They are right behind you!.”, “Run!”, and “you’re about 25 seconds behind.”  If your cross-country runner looks like they want to hit you with a brick, you have spoken your lines with finesse.

     Now, with your resources.  The whistle is your attention getter.  When your cross-country runner is still 400 meters away, begin blowing the whistle with all you’ve got- loudly and at nonsensical intervals.  In between your stints of “cheering”, the stopwatch will come in handy. Well..the stopwatch itself will do nothing actually, but having it will give you credibility as you shout out bogus times to the runner.  If you truly want to crush their spirit, you will have to have looked up their typical time so that you can then yell much slower times  as they run by.  Next, spray silly string at their at their head as they run past.  Aim for the face.  If you get lucky, they will sweat and the chemical substance will ooze into their eyes and mouth, causing sputtering and blindness.  As they stumble into trees because of their lack of vision, turn on your bullhorn and start shouting one of the predetermined “cheers” you have practiced.  If they don’t give up right then, rest assured that they will trip on a root quite soon.

     After you have successfully patted yourself on the back for a job well done, get the heck out of there!  Your cross-country runner will sink into depression soon, but in the post-race adrenaline rush: they will be hunting you down.  The small crowd size is to your disadvantage, but the stupidity of the running community will come into play.  They will swarm towards the claustrophobic runners, creating a human wall between you and your “assignment”.  This is your chance to rush to your car and make a getaway.  Once you arrive home, reward yourself with a pint of Rocky Road and an evening of romantic comedies.  After such exercise and effort, you deserve a break.

"Running is a mental sport...and we're all insane!" 
- Author unknown

Successful ab workouts

     In today's society, someone only has to turn on the television to see a hunk with a six-pack or a hot girl with "abs of steel."  Understandably, the rest of the population has latched on to Hollywood's fascination for the washboard stomach.  People scour the internet looking for the latest and greatest in ab workouts, machines, even products promising that the user doesn't even need to workout.  In reality, having visible ab muscles does call for some effort.  However, it can be a manageable process.

     Before delving into the different exercises and methods for strengthening the abdominal muscles, its important to understand that unless you are at a healthy weight, the abdominal muscles may not be visible because of the fat on the midsection.  If you are overweight, healthy exercise and nutrition can help to reduce the fat in the midsection.  However, exercise and good nutrition are beneficial regardless of weight.

     The abdominal muscles are a group of six muscles (hence the term six-pack) that are in the core of the body.  Aside from looking attractive when prominent, these muscles also help improve posture, define the waistline, aid in breathing, and support the core of the body.  For all these reasons, strengthening the abdominal muscles will improve overall health in addition to the appearance of the midsection.

     Since the abs are made up of six muscles, one simple exercise will not activate all of them.  That is why it is important to develop a routine of varying exercises that will strengthen the entire core.  Much like other muscle groups, the abdominal muscles should not be exercised every day.  Exercising them temporarily breaks the muscle fibers down, which must repair in order to strengthen the muscles.  Three or four days a week (every other day) will balance the workouts with the recovery process.

     In recent years, the traditional sit up has taken a beating in the exercise and fitness world. It has been labeled as inefficient, and this is because it only works a few of the abdominal muscles.  To get the best results in less time, all-encompassing exercises will work better.  These exercises include:

1. the bicycle (1 min.)

2. side bends (with an 8-10 lb. dumbbell. for 2 min. each side)

3. core isolations (seen in different forms of dance, can be short and hard, or makeup the full workout)

This typical crunch is not the most
 efficient workout for the abs

4. the plank (1 min.)

5. the side plank (1 min. each side)

6. plank with mountain climbers (1 min.)

7. cherry pickers (also known as crazy Ivans; 1 min.)

8. tree choppers (with 10-12 lb. dumbbells, 1 min. each side)

     These are just some examples of abdominal exercises that will activate and work many or all the muscles in this group.   It's advised to spend around 10-15 minutes on abdominal exercises on the scheduled days.  However, if one day is too hectic to get the full 15 minutes in, doing half the workout that day and half the next is almost as effective, as long as the rest of the week's schedule is adjusted accordingly.  

     Researching how to do these ab exercises and maybe adding in some more simple ones such as crunches (in between to difficult exercises), is the first step.  Then, on the days of the workouts, simply pick the ones you want to do that day.  The times listed beside the exercises above are the ideal lengths.  Starting out, you might not be able to complete the full duration, but have that time as a goal to work towards.  Eventually, those times may become easier, so they can also be lengthened.  Depending on your personality, you may want to mix up the exercises every workout or keep them consistent.  It is important though,  to mix them up every once in a while to make sure all the ab muscles are being worked.  This also helps to make the routine less of a chore.  

     I guarantee soreness if the workouts are done correctly, and it'll feel good.  It proves the hard work and dedication, and also shows the your on your way to rock hard abs!

My essential applications: all interesting, all FREE

  

     While I have yet to cave into the iPhone craze (on behalf of T-Mobile), I do have an Android MyTouch 4g that I got in June of 2011 and have since discovered the world of applications.  They have them for everything!  There are games, finger pianos, organizers, price checkers-- you name it.  I've found so many that are extremely helpful, and a few that are a bit quirky.  Best of all: they are all FREE!  Here are a few that I've grown to love:

1. Pinterest

     Yes.  This is perhaps the website that girls all over the world have dreamed of.  Pinterest allows users to virtually hoard pictures of quotes, crafts, wedding ideas, ect.  Regardless of the fact that I'll probably never check Pinterest in ten years to figure out how to design my dream house, I feel the overwhelming need to "pin" everything I will encounter in life.  It's a fun way to waste time, get inspired, and get ideas.

2. Sleep Talk Recorder

     This crazy new app lets you set a sound sensitivity and then place a delayed timer on the phone to record your sleep.  When the app senses a difference in the normal sound level, it records.  This app makes for laughs after the fact, as you hear the strange noises and conversations you were having as you slept.  You can then save the recordings you like and listen to other popular sounds that other users have posted or are on the leader board.  

3. WeatherBug

     WeatherBug is a very useful and practical weather app., and the best one that I have found in the market.  It allows you to check weather patterns, forecasts, current temperatures, and even how the weather fares for certain activities.  Best of all, WeatherBug is easy to navigate and quick to load and update. 

(credit: www.itunes.apple.com)

4. Pulse

(credit: www.itunes.apple.com)

     Pulse is the best friend of any news junky.  It allows you to compile all the news sources you like, into categorized pages to read within the app.  This eliminates the need to surf all over the web to see the latest in health, pets, politics-- just about everything (Yes- even fertility news.)  Pulse is so easy to customize, and lets users make an account that can share the same source setup between devices.  This way, I have Pulse on my phone, iPod, Nook, and bookmarked on my computer.  Wherever I am, my news is easy to access and just the way I like it.

5. GasBuddy

     In case you haven't noticed, gas prices are very temperamental   At one gas station, I could pay $3.35 a gallon, but be paying $3.40 just two miles away.  GasBuddy is the united effort of drivers, to get a leg up on the gasoline industry.  This app. allows you to see where gas is the least expensive in a quick and efficient manner.  Knowing I got the best deal on gas makes it a little easier to drain my credit card when I get to the pump.

6.  Fooducate

(credit: www.fooducate.com)

     This revolutionary app. focuses on everyday nutrition, with everyday items.  While Fooducate does list calorie counts in foods, it also shows things such as sugar, fat, and chemical content in the products.  Users can scan the barcode on a food or drink, or search for it.  Fooducate shows healthier options of the same types of food, and often offers giveaways and prizes for scanning healthy foods.  This app. gives healthy eating a convenient twist, and makes it pretty fun too!

7. Fancy

Fancy's logo
(credit: www.fancy.com)

     Fancy is similar to Pintrest in that it is visually oriented with pictures.  The difference is that Fancy is focused more on products that people can buy right off the sight (although it's fun even if your not in the buying mood).  Instead of "pinning" pictures, Fancy users "fancy" them.  Pretty basic, right?  The same cannot be said for Fancy's products though.  One of the things that makes the app. so appealing are the bizarre and amazing products that are shown.  Many of them seem like they came right out of SkyMall Magazine, and are perfect for that person you can never find a gift for.  Not all Fancy products are able to be purchased.  Those that are, go from $15 to hundreds of thousands, and can be filtered by interest and price.

8. ChaCha 

(credit: www.chacha.com)

     ChaCha is a great app. to fill the "Siri" void for the Android owner.  Users can ask funny, practical, or downright ridiculous questions and be sure that they will be promptly answered.  ChaCha questions are answered by real people, so the answers are up to date and reliable.  Users can also browse popular questions or questions asked by those nearby. 

the Cold

     This is a little harder to be thankful for.  See, I'm challenging myself!  Basically, I enjoy how pretty the snow is, but absolutely hate the cold.  I'd rather be running in 100 degree weather than 30 or 40.  Yet, I think that it's important to be thankful for how frigid the wintertime can be, because it makes me appreciate the warmer months so much more!  If it was always warm, I don't think I would be filled with such joy when we first hit shorts weather in the spring.  The freezing Ohio winter helps me to be grateful for the little things, and-- if I drag myself out into it-- provides for a gorgeous winter run.  So, today, I'm thankful for the snow and cold temperatures outside.  I'm not going to lie though: I'm much more grateful that spring isn't too far off.

Fridays

     I relish on the feeling of a Friday afternoon. Just three classes to go and I've crammed my homework into the last five minutes if my last class, so no homework over the weekend. It's easy to be grateful for, but still counts: right? Maybe I'll stretch myself and post this same theme on Sunday evening. It's a lot harder to be grateful when emotions tell me, ”I don't want to go to school!”