Family Weekend Fun!

    I won't even begin to try to justify my absence lately.  College is great, I truly love it.  It's not a walk in the park though!  I have been so busy moment to moment, that the last thing I want to do when I find a free moment, is plan and write a blogpost.  Although I love to recount my life and my share all my adventures, I need some relaxation before my brain can creatively perform beyond its limit.  This weekend will be a good time to catch up.  I'm planning a post about best running gifts-- and these go beyond the typical Garmin or Dri-fit shirt.  I'm also going to post some more devotionals, product reviews and my favorite gluten free health foods.  Get ready for some awesomeness!  Even more awesome though, was the blessed weekend I had with my family during Butler's family weekend.  Here are some quick pictures to taunt you before I give a full debrief:

Duckpin bowling!  We had a blast.  It was extremely difficult though!

I had one of the most special days with my daddy.  We had so much fun spending some goofy, quality time together!

And then it snowed Sunday night.  I love winter when there's some beautiful snow to hide the
fact that it's freezing outside.

Here was the gorgeous sight this morning I walked by on my way to the gym-- because my bike lock
was frozen shut so I couldn't cycle there.  God does work in amazing ways. I would have missed
this beautiful scenery in my rush!

Matisse, Life in Color at the Indianapolis Museum of Art

"Jazz" by Henri Matisse

      French artist Henri Matisse (1869-1954) was well known for his artistically bold uses of color and pattern. But there is also great depth and detail to Matisse’s work, which visitors to the Indianapolis Museum of Art can now see for themselves in “Matisse, Life in Color: Masterworks from The Baltimore Museum of Arts."           

     This collection of more than 100 works of art comes from the Cone Collection in the Baltimore Museum of Art and features paintings, sculptures, prints and artist books, according to the IMA.

     Rebecca Long, the exhibit’s curator, said Matisse is an artist who is not represented very well in the museum’s collection and the mission with “Matisse, Life in Color,” is to allow the people in Indianapolis to dive deeper into Matisse’s career.

In the Indianapolis area and care to read my latest article for the Butler collegian? Click HERE.

What I'm Thankful for on November 7

     I started this blog with the intention of recounting all I am grateful for, so it seems fitting that I do something "thanks" oriented during the month of November especially.  I've got a few ideas, but I'm still thinking.  More on that next week.

Amen! (photo credit: heartofwisdom.com)

     Anyway,  I am very thankful that my family is coming this weekend (RELATED: Family Weekend).  At the same time, I'm thankful that God has really been ministering to me lately and I am more hopeful and joyful than ever.  I am no longer in anguish waiting for to see my mom and dad, which is a positive sign that I'm-- finally-- adjusting!  In the past few weeks, I've been figuring out my schedule for next semester as well as dealing with a new tweak-of-an-injury.  Hopefully, you'll think its just as bizarre as I think: I have rib disfunction.  Or, at least, that's what the doctor thinks.  I'm getting in to see a back specialist in a few days, so I'll know more then.  It all started after my run last Saturday.  I stopped to tie a shoe at the end of the run, and then could not run again when I tried!  My upper back hurt so terribly that I couldn't take the pounding motion of running.   Since then, it hasn't gotten any better.  It hurts when I go up and down stairs and when I take an abnormally deep breath.  For most people, this wouldn't be too bad-- just avoid stairs and breath normally!  For a runner, though, it's a bit of an issue.  I haven't been able to run since Saturday and I'm pretty bummed about it.  Not to mention, I've been feeling more distant from God this week.  I think the latter is because I've been so busy with school and excited with my family coming, that I haven't been so desperate on him to renew my thoughts and keep me going.  Busyness is often stressful, but it also has a way of keeping the mind occupied.  This is not beneficial in the walk of faith, without constant practice of God's presence.
     However, I also recognize that Christ has lavished us with forgiveness, and I am so grateful for that.  I also know that it's not all about feeling.  I've been speaking to God, thanking him and communing with him the past few days.  Not having a desired "feeling" doesn't make God any less present.  For an emotionally driven person though, that's a little harder to remember.
     But now I'm digressing.  In regard to my back, I've found that I have a lot of impatience toward God about healing.  But I'm so thankful that we can always go back to the throne of grace!

Lord, thank you that you are my healer and you know what you are doing.  You don't need to be told how to do things in my life, for you have already created great and wonderful plans for me.  Thank you daddy.  Please reveal yourself more and more in my life and open my eyes to more of your presence.  I have failed this week in keeping you central amongst the excitement and chaos.  Forgive me and draw near me again.  You are all I want and all I need.  I desire your love and your presence in my life, and nothing else.  You're daddy.  You love me and I love you so much.

Family Weekend

     I don't know how Butler will be able to handle so much awesomeness at one time, but in less than three days: my family (minus the older bro) will be coming for a highly anticipated visit!  It's family weekend, so there are plenty of activities and craziness going on, and I can't wait to show them all around.  Even aside from that, it has been very busy lately, so I haven't been able to blog.  However, I will give you a little taste of some of the fun that is expected this weekend:

1. Duckpin Bowling
Yes- Indianapolis has the only Duckpin bowling lane in the midwest-- and I would know: I gave a speech on entertainment options in Indy.  It's a different kind of bowling with a bowling ball that doesn't have holes and some other changes.  I'm not sure exactly how that will go, but I can't wait to see!

2. Me not sleeping in a dorm room!
I am super excited to have 2 blissful nights in a hotel.  No earplugs, no towel over my face to keep out the light...can it get any better?  Oh ya- no climbing on a desk + dresser to get into bed!

3. Showing the family around campus
There are so many things I can't wait to show the family: the high ropes course, the beautiful canal, the hangout areas, and downtown Indianapolis.

4. Taking my daddy to church with me
I'm really excited to show my dad the church I've been attending, and loving, since coming to college.  It makes me feel a little more grownup, but in a good way that reminds me I'm still daddy's little girl

5. Showing my grammy around
I know I already included the part about showing the family around, but this is different!  I want to get my grandma up on the high ropes course...and in the likely event that that doesn't work out, I want to show her my dorm and the campus.  She hasn't seen Butler yet, so I can't wait to show her!

6. Giving and receiving as many hugs as I need to hold me over till Thanksgiving
I need to stock up on hugs for the next two weeks, naturally.  Don't call me silly-- it's a valid point!

My Week: Running Progression, God's Kindness and

     As I've embarked on my latest journey to increase the presence of God in my daily life, I've been struck by the little blessings he places along the way.  If you need a refresher, or have no clue what I'm talking about, click HERE, HERE, and HERE to read about this awesome adventure!
     After a rocky start to last week-- after coming back from an awesome fall break--I slowly eased into things and have been doing better than ever.  I am progressing in my running still.  It is a seven week progression until I'm 100%, and I'm on week three I believe.  I run every other day and tomorrow I am doing 20 min. running, 2 min. walking, 10 min. running.  Basically, I started increasing the proportion of running a few weeks ago and now I'm backing off on the walking time in between.  It's a long process, but it's important I don't just throw my hip into a 60 min. distance run right away.  Mentally, it is helpful as well, being that I haven't run in so long.  It is giving me an awesome chance to start from the top and remember why I love running so much. Although it's not a walk in the park because I'm out of running shape, I've been cross training very hard and am confident that God has got a super plan for the future of my running ministry.  Yes, I believe that means awesome success.  But it is not limited to just that!  I have grown so close to him in this bittersweet time and I know I will be able to have a special ministry for those who are injured like I have been.

photo credit: southwestern.edu

     Schoolwork, classes, working out/running, rehab and life in general have been keeping me pretty busy lately, but it's a good busy.  I am glad that I am feeling less homesick and more at home and God is opening my eyes to more and more every day.
     For instance, take what happened on Sunday night for example: God showed me kindness through the awesome employees at Butler!  The dining halls usually have great, nutritious food, but I noticed on Sunday night that they were still out of the gluten free cereal that they keep in a specially dedicated "Allergy section."  So, I asked an employee and he said he would go to the back and get some.  Sure enough, he came out with cereals and refilled the containers.  While doing so, he asked me which one I wanted to take.  "Take?" I asked, "what do you mean?"  Through a long and awkward conversation, I found out he was actually serious: he said it was totally fine if I took a box.  I told him which one I liked.  "Good choice," he answered, "I'll be right back."  He soon returned with a box of cereal and a box of gluten free cookies.  He told me to just ask if I needed anything else, and I was immediately amazed at God's love.  I had been asking all day for God to give me someone to bless, and here, in the simplest of ways: someone else had blessed me.  It wasn't about the yummy cereal that I can eat because it's gluten free.  Rather, it was how he went out of his way to not just help me, but to serve me.  Isn't that exactly what Christ did, and does, for us!?  Then I went downstairs where the cashier at the convenience store brought out the sushi chef because she knew that I liked the vegetable rolls, but they almost never had them.  Now, the sushi chef is going to make them twice a week so I have my veggie rolls when I want.  Again, not about the food, but about the servant's heart in these kind people.  I want to be like that!  I want to bring such joy to someone else's day that they can't help but think they are special and loved.  

These aren't in any particular order,
but as you can see: they're about to tumble!

Lord, please open the doors and open my eyes to all these opportunities.  I know they are there, but I get so inward focused that I so often miss them.  But I know you forgive and restore me, and you know my heart longs to love you and your children.

     Yesterday, it was so gorgeous and sunny out that I decided to walk to the athletic training room rather than ride my bike.  You know what I discovered?  That 15 min. walk was the most tranquil and blissful time of my day with God.  I was able to really talk to him rather than just ride my bike as the quicker option.  Then I realized: God had made that beautiful day because he knew it would cause me to walk and that would cause me to speak with him, and he desperately wanted to speak with me.  How awesome it that!?!?!?  He showed me that same love when my daddy took the time to call me yesterday even though he didn't have the time, and when my mom texted me goodnight because she knows I get the most homesick at night and in the early morning.  I have so much evidence of love around me, so many examples of how I can be a blessing as well.  Not in spite of, but because of the craziness I'm living in, there is a need to reach out and show God's love to others.  It pulls me out of self-centered land and brings me joy and perspective.  I might see some of these people only once in my life-- doubtful at Butler, but possible-- and I want that one memory to be one of joy that shows Christ's love.
 

What I'm Grateful for on October 27

     Life has been a whirlwind lately, and although I could probably start off any post by saying that, it is especially true lately.  My emotions have been going a million miles an hour, but I am slowly drawing closer to Jesus and further from the chaos that seeks my attention.  A while back, I posted on God's amazing grace (see: God's Grace, Not a Counterfeit), and it is something that is particularly striking me today as well.
     Ever since returning from Fall Break, I have been facing some pretty tough spiritual warfare and am constantly reminded that I can't do it on my own.  God is right here with me and his grace allows me, and all of us, to be free from condemnation.  Yet, this is only the case if we open the door up to your spirit and allow the grace to reign down on us.
     Along those lines, I am so grateful that I have had such a spirit filled month.  After reading Practicing His Presence (RELATED: Book Review of Practicing His Presence) I have been struck by how real and alive God is in everyday moments.  Despite all of this however, I've found myself getting bogged down by the monotony of life and the self-condemnation for falling into old sinful habits and thus losing sight of God.  That's when I get in the cycle of perfection, control, anger and discouragement.  But, I'm not here to tell you all my life's issues.  While I believe there is great spiritual value in writing and releasing emotions, the internet is probably not the place for it, AND we must be careful lest we go back "like a dog to its own vomit" (Proverbs 26:11).  For instance, if I've already prayed that God will release his spirit in me and forgive me for how I've failed lately, there's no sense in going back and pleading that same prayer over and over again.  He has already forgiven and he is with us.  What we really need to do is command our spirit to come into alignment with what He has already told us.
     So you might be asking where I'm going with all this...not exactly sure myself.  I think my point is that God's spirit must be released in us in order to experience this grace and peace and joy and all those other awesome fruits.  When we pray to the spirit, perhaps its time we actually expect what we are praying for to come about.  If we ask for forgiveness, we need to receive it and move on.  I've often heard it said that in the same way the Holy Spirit is like a dove, he will not force himself onto those whose hearts are not open; he will not land where there is turmoil and unrest.  Relax my friends.  Believe me, I'm saying it to you as much as I am to myself.  There is hope for the future.  There is a great plan that Christ has for us and nothing we can do can stop that.  You can't mess up God's plans-- you might delay them, but you cannot stop them!  There is such freedom in following Christ, that all else begins to fade away.  I don't know about you, but I'm sick of the control, the fear, the anxiety, the loneliness and the self-hatred that come when I board my heart up and try to make it on my own.  I'm tired of repeating the same prayers to God because I'm not really praying them at all, but rather, I'm trying to assure myself.  RELAX.....breathe....  Daddy is right here and he has great rest and relaxation for his children.  We don't need to have any fear over what might be.  All we do is cuddle up, be with him and allow his spirit to manifest in our lives.  It's not exactly easy, but it is worth it.
     Every day, we can make the decision whether to follow God in freedom or retreat back into bondage without his Holy Spirit.  Choose Christ today!  I've found, the more I release to Christ, the more I want of him and the less I desire the tempting sins and controlling desires of the flesh.  He reveals more and more and more.  It doesn't all happen in one day, but if your tired of a life lived in complacency, decide with me that you are going to release to Jesus' hands today.

Back to School I Go

     I haven't forgotten about the blog, I promise.  In reality, I am pressed for time in just about everything lately.  I had an amazing time at home during Fall Break.  I got to hang out with my mom, walk the the cutest chocolate lab ever-- Lily-- walk with my daddy, see my little brother run his first district cross country race, hang with my older brother, see my best friend, visit with my church family and plenty of other fun-filled stuff!  I was struck by how blessed I am to have such amazing people who love me.  I can't describe how excited I was to pull into the parking lot where my dad was picking me up, and waiting an agonizing two minutes to see him pull in.
     Now, I'm back at campus and slowly getting back into the groove of things.  It was a really rough first day, I'll admit.  I was a complete wreck, but desperate for God to show me whatever he had for me.  I've found that college has drawn me so much closer to God than ever, and this was the epitome of that.  I was discouraged by the monotony of everything, so I drew closer to him and saw that he has given us-- his children-- the authority to declare his joy in our lives.  I am getting closer to truly running (I was able to run 24 minutes today!), I am studying at an amazing college, I'm doing well in my classes and I have a family that loves me immensely.  Yet, even without all these things: I can choose joy because Christ is living inside of me.  When I thought about it like that, it helped put my life in perspective a little better.  So I'm taking it one day at a time, just looking at the next step so I don't get overwhelmed by how much time stands between me and another sweet embrace with my mom and dad.  I have so much more to tell, and will do so when I find more free time!  Possibly tomorrow…although I never know what the "dreaded Wednesday" will hold.  I declare that I will find the joy in even Wednesdays though!  God, I pray you will open my eyes to all the glory and adventure.  Be my secret place, draw me nearer to you so that nothing else satisfies!