Don't Say This to a Runner

If you don't run: start. If you're getting around to it, let me save you some time and very kindly tell you that there are some basic rules to the sport. We don't ask much, honest. But if you happen to sport another runner and are dying to say something run-tactic to to this gawky and sun burnt hero, here's what not to say or do when you see a runner: Scenario 1: You spot an intense looking runner, sweaty and exhausted looking ~"Well...aren't you tired?!" ~"Have a good run!" ~"It's pretty dangerous to run when its over 70 degrees out." Scenario 2: You see a runner out on the trail while walking your chihuahua-pomeranian mix ~Let your outgoing little fur-ball gnaw at the runner's ankles and lick him all over as he runs by (just being friendly, I know. But DON'T Do IT!) ~"Lookin' good" (If you are significantly older/younger and of the opposite sex: this is EXTREMELY creepy. The runner jog away, convinced that you are staring them down). ~Let your dog, children, aunts, uncles, and anyone else you can scrounge up last minute, strategically spread out on the trail. It's even worse if they are all screaming. That way, the runner can't even yell, "On your left." Then, when you do eventually move: do it in slo-mo as a group. I am positive that some groups I have encountered have practiced this maneuver beforehand. ~Begin jogging as you see them coming closer. This might earn you a sweaty and conceded glare as the runner passes you by. No one likes a fake, and this is especially true when you are five miles into your mountain run, high on endorphins, and being lied to by a slow walker and their rat-like pet. (Please don't take offense all you chihuahua-pomerainian owners-- if that is a real dog-- I mean not harm. Only a dimly witted joke). Scenario 3: You see a runner at the store after they've clearly been running ~"I like to keep it comfortable too." (If they look remotely like they've been sweating: don't even go there!) ~Don't utter any comment about how running is bad for the knees, or heart, or mind, or toes, or spleen, or esophogaus, or whatever else you can think of-- especially if you are unloading Oreos and Haagen Daaz from your shopping cart at the checkout lane. Hope these provided a few laughs, and enlightened a few of you. Although, I highly doubt that many people do these things, I have experienced some of them and I'm sure that some of you are cringing as we speak. The running community is very friendly and welcoming. We love new runners! So take this new information and go the extra step: lace up your "tennies" and get out there! ~