Pinterest A Grateful Life Lived: Faith Update

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Faith Update

Before my unplanned sabbatical, I was getting a little stressed with all the things to be done-- finishing high school, running track, and studying for exams-- so I realize that my inability to post for almost a week has been a positive thing in many regards. Yet, I have also found that I'm itching to write again. That is definitely a positive, because I was beginning to feel as if I had to keep thinking of things and finding the time to write them, but I am quite refreshed! So a quick update on what is new: after a trying week with my kneee tendonitis I was able to run my first workout (and it was a hard one: yay! And I'm legitimately serious about that!) yesterday. I was able to run again today. No pain! That is such a blessing to be grateful for because I have really been having a terrible time staying positive and motivated while cross-training at the gym every day. I can already see the blessing in it though. God has really been growing my faith and trust, because I know that I wouldn't have gone through a trial like this last year, without mentally breaking down. Yet, I am spiritually, physically, and emotionally on target to glorify God with anything and everything he chooses to give me as I move forward. I have not given up so far, and I do not intend to give up. Ever. Both in life and in track and field: I'm going to keep on running until I can't anymore. There's no quitting. It didn't feel so easy last week though, and I prayed and pleaded to God for encouragement of any kind, but especially a dream. I knew that if it were a dream, it would be harder for me to explain it away by coincidence. After a few days of praying that, he gave me a short and quick vision, and I was ecstatic. In the dream, all I saw was a few front doors with unclear words printed on the bands to the side of it and on the top. I had to get a lens to focus until I could see one of them. (I believe this goes back the illustration my dad gave me a few weeks ago). The margins or bands around the doors were white with black lettering, and although the sides looked like a different language of characters, I could read the top. It said: There's a time to give up. I woke up from that dream and felt immediately frightened: What was that supposed to mean? Was that my sign? Did God want me to just give up!? Still half asleep though, I nodded off again after a split second of this worrying. I had a few other dreams I don't remember now, but didn't wake up again. Within that time, I had a second dream/vision. I saw another front door with the same appearance as the first. I could read the top border on this one as well. However, it said: Do not give up. When I woke up, I was sure beyond doubt that God had given me those two visions as a sign that he is with me and that there is good in the end of this if I endure. It also reminded me of my favorite passage in the entire Bible, which speaks of such: Hebrews 10:32-39. Now, these struggles might not end with my view of the "perfect" outcome, and I might not see a worldly blessing from these trials soon, or ever. But I do know that my God is for me and I have so much to be thankful for in the way he has moved in my life. He is still moving, still holding on to me and bringing me into further glory of his name. What's more: it's not about me. It's not about my records or my wins-- or lack thereof. It is about doing all I can to glorify the talent giver. It's about following his lead and trusting his love. While I am very, very far from perfect in the area of trust and faith, I do know that my faith has been tested immensely though this past year of running. As a result, I have learned how to hold on to God like never before. That is enough of a blessing, yet it shows me how good he is and how he seeks to bless me and honor the desires of my hearts. So, as if that's not enough: there's more coming. Thank you Lord!

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