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Monday, May 20, 2013

Still in Waiting...

     Unfortunately, it's been nearly impossible to blog lately without a computer. I'm on my mom's right now in order to finish a project for AP Composition, but its rare that I can find time and resources to do so. It's killing me! I have so many ideas backed up in my brain right now. Not to mention, I'm missing vital moments to share my walk of faith as things have gotten really hard with finishing up school and with running. It's not going the way I want it to, and its taken a lot of trust in God.
     Last night I was reading Job, and in particular: the end of Job. This is the part where Job sees God's face and is immediately in hatred of himself. God was so good all the time and yet Job had struggled and doubted. Not only does this give me encouragement, but it also gives me some perspective. To me, this is hard stuff. I've put years into my running, and I want so bad to finish my high school career with PRs, records, and a state championship. Yet, Job lost his entire livelyhood, his family, his health, and even many of his closest friends. If he was able to remain righteous (which is different that sinless) through all of that, I need to give myself that high standard as well. This isn't to say that I'm expecting perfection or expecting that I can somehow earn my passage out of the dessert. What it means is that I understand God can use the trials of life to advance his kingdom far more than in the good times. I know that God can and will use this if I put myself in the best place I can by walking worthy and keeping the faith.
      I have found much encouragement as well from Psalm 27 which says:

The Lord is my light and my salvation— whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life— of whom shall I be afraid? 2 When the wicked advance against me to devour[a] me, it is my enemies and my foes who will stumble and fall. 3 Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; though war break out against me, even then I will be confident. 4 One thing I ask from the Lord, this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze on the beauty of the Lord and to seek him in his temple. 5 For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent and set me high upon a rock. 6 Then my head will be exalted above the enemies who surround me; at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy; I will sing and make music to the Lord. 7 Hear my voice when I call, Lord; be merciful to me and answer me. 8 My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, Lord, I will seek. 9 Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, God my Savior. 10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me. 11 Teach me your way, Lord; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. 12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, spouting malicious accusations. 13 I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. 14 Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.

     I bolded verses 4 and 14 because those two have stood out to me the most.  Verse 4 gives a that perspective I was talking about.  It reminds me: I'm not on earth to run.  I'm on earth to dwell in the house of the Lord, and I can do that through running but running isn't my sole purpose.  That is what I seek from the Lord during this hard time: him.  I want more of him because my flesh is worn and tired.  He gives me rest.  I love verse 14 because  the repetition alone is so powerful.  So when I am especially struggling, I can speak that verse and command my sole to wait on God and nothing else.  He has given  sufficient grace to more than overcome.  Therefore, when we are in trials, we have the ability to be strong even though we are weak on our own.  This verse also implies that there is something to wait for: God is coming.  We wait for something that we are absolutely certain of, and we wait in a way that will not ashame or disqualify us upon the arrival of that which we wait.  In this case, that means we wait in strength, we wait with hope, and we wait with joy.  For the Lord is coming in the end days but he is also coming to our rescue in the everyday.  He does not sit idle when his children are hurting, and although its hard to see that when we are in the midst of it: that is the truth.
     These realities have greatly encouraged me this week, so I pray that they will do the same for you.  Read Psalm 27.  Get that deep down in your heart, and maybe write verse 14 on a notecard to stick in your pocket until you can recite it alone.  Use the scripture to remind yourself you are valued by God, you are not alone, and you have been given the ability to more than overcome while you wait for God's sovereign hand to rescue.     Have a great week and I hope to blog more this week as I have school winding down and possible computer access since I have more time.

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