Pinterest A Grateful Life Lived: Tear the Walls Down and Start Planting

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Tear the Walls Down and Start Planting

I am extremely good at letter writing and I'm skilled at crossword puzzles.  I also a pro at hula hooping.  True facts.

What I don't admit with as much pride, is the fact that I'm pretty awful at is being secure in who I am.  It's something I've blogged on before and it's one the key reasons I kept the world at bay for so long.  I reasoned that if people didn't know me, they couldn't reject me.  The past few months have been a grand effort to reconnect and rediscover the world around me.  I've been transparent as I can be on this blog, but as God has revealed to me lately: It's not just transparency that matters. (RELATED: My Next Step)

While it's important to let the world in, I believe it is equally important to be a part of it.  What good is is to simply write about my life and what God is showing me, if I do nothing with it in actuality (RELATED: Motivated by Hope)? But the hard part about that is: confidence.  It's something I'm still learning to have, after years of putting up a front as the perfectionist student and athlete.  It is hard to have confidence in the real Hannah, the one who can't think of good Instagram captions and who cries at just about everything.  But confidence- courage-  is what we need in order to make an impact, otherwise we just fade to the background and let history repeat itself.

See, it reminds me of the story in John 5, where we (along with Jesus) meet a paralytic man at the pool of Bethzatha (For the sake of time, click HERE to read the full story).  This man had already taken the first step: He had become transparent in His brokenness.  For thirty odd years, he had most likely camped out at that pool and let the world see how broken, poor and miserable his life was.

Such raw transparency produces one of two things: Peace that leads to confidence OR shame.

As I've seen in my life, breaking down walls is only beneficial if you proceed to toil the ground, to break up the soil (RELATED: Perfect Peace).  I had to break the soil of perfectionism (RELATED: Spiritually Face Washing). I had to rip out the roots of control and fear and patterns that had gripped my existence.  And I had to plant new life, new hope with a firm foundation.  A foundation in Christ.  If we are stripped bare for the world to see and there is nothing planted, that's when shame takes root.  We begin to feel ashamed of our failures; like a naked Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden, we seek to hide.  (RELATED: The Other Walls I've Been Dealing With)

 But Jesus- the foundation, the cornerstone- tugs at our hearts.  Just like He does for us, He came  to the paralytic man and whispered hope.  Jesus told that man to pick up his mat and walk, and sure enough, after decades of inactive legs: The man popped to his feet.


Can you imagine how fast he must have run from that place?  I can just picture him sprinting through the streets, eyes shining with elation.  He had met the healer.  He had encountered Jesus.

So have we.  We have the Spirit with us every moment.  We have the foundation of Jesus that will hold us up when we tear down these walls that hold us in.  As we tear down walls and toil the ground, shame gives way to peace.  For, I may be laid bare, but I am not barren.  I'm not just being transparent anymore; I'm being a participant in life, one who is not ashamed of brokenness.  

I've experienced Jesus, so you'd better believe I'm going to run for joy.  I've seen Him in my running, something I've been able to do again after so long.  I've seen Him healing relationships, exposing lies and providing comfort when I just need to cry in His arms.  And when we know Him, we know confidence, we know courage.  We know peace.

I'm tearing down the walls.  I'm letting the world in.  Now, watch me as I begin to step out.  Full sail ahead like a boat without an anchor.  I cannot and will not let shame tie me down anymore.  I am going to be transparent and at peace, because I was once paralyzed in fear and now I'm set free.

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