Do they like me?!!

     I will not use this blog to portray a perfectly poised Christian girl.  First of all: that's because I've never met one, and second: it wouldn't be interesting anyway!  To foster that "WOO I'm a mess!" mentality, I'm going to reveal one of my greatest areas of weakness:
 
     I CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK!.... a lot.  While many of you are not reeling in your seats, others may understand exactly what I'm talking about.  It is a huge problem.  I worry about how I act, what I say, what others' reactions might mean, what reaction I should give that doesn't look too needy or too uninterested.  What I have perfected over the past four years is a slightly lonely social life, in all honesty.  Yes, I've honed the method I've being liked quite well, but I haven't made any friends because of it.  I'm beginning to realize that there is a difference between kindness and complete focus on making everyone like me.  See, the first is outwardly focused.  The second, is looking at how I can benefit myself.  Like I said, the second method doesn't make a lot of friends.  I would recommend avoiding it if I were you.

     Clearly, the way to remedy this, is to focus outward.  This is the message Christ has given as well: "love others as much as yourself."  The great thing is: I don't have to worry about protecting myself or being right in others' eyes, because God will protect me and he is all that matters.  All the brain power I waste on worrying about my appearance to the world, could be used to have fuller joy in him.  That is a lot easier said than done, but God really gave me a revelation today about the time I have spent in my life trying to please the world.  I want to hear my parents; my coaches; everyone, to tell me how proud the are.  the Lord is the only one who I should be concerned about pleasing.  He showed me that today when I was thinking about the upcoming track season.  Winning the state meet is a goal of mine, but it's no longer so I can "make the world proud."  It will be hard to rewire my brain, but my new goal is to win the state meet for the glory of God by spreading his name whenever and wherever he chooses to lead me.  I hope that is as encouraging to you as it is to me.
     Thank goodness he tells us our worth and we don't have to wait for the world to do so.  That is such a blessing to be grateful for!