The unexpected

     In case you've been lodged in a cave the past year, I'll let you know that gas prices have gone up.  A lot. I don't know how much, because I haven't been driving for decades, but I do know it's enough to make me cringe at the pump.  Today, my dad went with me to the gas station to pump up the tires, which were apparently very low.  I also was going to stop for gas since I have to drive somewhere pretty far tomorrow morning.  "I'll get your gas," he said.  I profusely thanked him, glad not to have to suffer in the cold.  I handed him my debit card, but he said, " No, that's fine.  I'm going to pay for your gas."  I asked him why, and he said it was just because he loved me.  How awesome is that!?  I am so grateful for those little things, the times when God knows I am needing to receive some love.  He knows me.  He knows that right now is a dry period.

     I've been feeling guilty about that, because its so easy to think, "if I read my Bible more..." or "if I prayed more," or "maybe if I were more perfect.  The fact of the matter is- he loves us.  I've posted about perfectionism on more than one occasion, because its something I struggle with.  I struggle to wrap my mind around someone knowing all my flaws and still wanting me.  My dad is the height of that example, as he's been with me through all the struggles I've faced.  Today, he reflected that message that I think God has been trying to communicate to me: "I love you," and maybe a little paraphrased: "Stop freaking out about not 'feeling' me, and just relax in me.  You'll never be perfect, and the longer you seek your own perfection the farther you run from me."
     And isn't that true?  I trust that someone else needs to hear that today.  Someone else needs to know that God is constantly doing little things for us just because he loves us.  Not because of who we are and not dependent on whether or not we "feel" it.  He just is, because that's who he is.  Isn't that something HUGE to be grateful for.  I mean, think about that in the context of the awesome verse: Zephaniah 3:17-

The Lord your God is with you,
    the Mighty Warrior who saves.
He will take great delight in you;
    in his love he will no longer rebuke you,
    but will rejoice over you with singing.”


     Thank you Jesus for again reminding me :)